If you’re looking for help and advice after the affair, then I’m glad you’ve found this site and strongly suggest you keep reading…
The affair is usually a sign that the person doing the cheating is looking for something they’re not getting from the relationship. This isn’t saying that the partner who was cheated on is doing anything wrong, just that there is a major problem in the relationship.
What was the problem in my friend Liza’s relationship with her husband-I really don’t know. This couple always was (or just looked-as I think now) as we call in “healthy and happy” relationship.
But one late afternoon Liza called me and asked to come to talk to me. And when she just stepped in her very first words was: “He had the affair! What should I do? How will I survive after the affair?”
When I made coffee and we sat down she continued:
“Yesterday, I discovered that my husband-the man I have been living with for the past five years-had been having relationships with several other women. There many ways to peg down whether or not your husband’s been playing around behind your back. I always had suspicions but never wanted to know, so I ignored the obvious signs. Now I know and I can’t describe how I feel…lost… depressed… hopeless…”
This evening we had gallons of coffee and talking…
I suggested to read the ebook which I had downloaded couple month ago and found a bunch good tips and techniques how to solve relationship and marriage problems. Also how to survive after the affair and make relationship even stronger.
Click here if you want to get this techniques and tips to solve your problems
After the affair a relationship is the weakest it’s ever likely to be, but this can be a good thing. This sounds like it is hard to believe, but the truth is that the time after the affair is also the time that can make or break a relationship, which can be a huge opportunity.
Nobody likes to be cheated on. Nobody should be cheated on. But cheating isn’t the problem, it’s the symptom. There is always a bigger problem underlying the infidelity and if there’s anything good to come after the affair, it’s knowing that there is a problem that you need to address.
The time when a relationship is at its weakest is also the best time to do the work that will bring it to being its strongest. There’s an idea in the military that you need to tear a person down so that you can build them back up, strong than they ever were before, and this is true in relationships as well.
After the affair what your relationships needs is a complete overhaul. This isn’t optional, because if you try to just go back to the way things were, then what you’ll find is that history will just repeat itself. You need to start over and build things back up from the bottom. Tear it down to bring it back stronger than it was before.
The first thing you need to do is spend some time apart. This may seem counter intuitive since you’re dealing with after the affair situation, when the urge might be to not let your partner out of your sight for a single second. But the time apart will allow you to see your relationship from a different angle, and this perspective will be important for the relationship repair process.
The next thing you need to do is to figure out exactly what the problem was, and the answer to this question is not ‘they were sleeping with someone else’. You need to find the deep down problem that was behind the infidelity, and you need to do something about the problem.
After you’ve done those two things, it’s time for you to start the relationship over. The key part is to do it from the beginning. Go on dates again. Start over just as if you were dating somebody else. You need to treat this as a new relationship because if you want to repair your relationship after the affair, then it has to be a new relationship. Learn to trust again. In many ways, this is the toughest thing to do after the affair. The trust has been broken, and it will be hard to get it back, but you need to be able to trust your partner again. No relationship has ever succeeded based on suspicion and paranoia.
Although you’re being building a new relationship after the affair, you do need to keep in mind the problems that made all this necessary. The idea here isn’t to have the same relationship you had before, the idea is to have a better one, and this means you need to avoid making the same mistakes.
Rebuilding a relationship after the affair will be hard, but it will also be one of the most worthwhile things you can. Remember, there is help available out there, and seeking it out one of the best things you can do for your relationship.
I was hoping that this would help.
In three month my friend Liza’s life changed. At first she still was hurt and angry, but as time went on she realized that she was not really that surprised about him. Liza tried breaking up with him but he denied everything. And he said that he really loves her and that he wants to make things work…
Ok, marriage cheating tiger..!
She turned the anger into changing herself and really figuring out what she’s all about. Since then she has improved her career, she changed hair style, she has lost about twenty pounds, starting working out regularly and feels good.
